suicidalhate

Is Slowly Losing My Mind
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bad week

1 min read
so i have been having a really bad week. ive almost quit my job 3 times and got in a fight twice and everyone has just been pissing me off. All week i was looking forward to today. today was the day i was supposed to see you. but you txt me early in the morning saying that your mad at your mom so we cant hang out. you live in different towns? ugh :(

As a tear forms in my eye
And I start to cry
I wonder why
I even try


hey if you read this dont be offended i was just really looking forward to seeing you. and i needed some cheering up because of this horrible week. now i need alot of cheering up.

*cries*
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so i cried this morning when i woke up. i don't even know why it just happened and all i could do was stuff my face into my pillow so that i wouldn't wake her while she sleeps beside me. It was just the most randomest thing ever, i felt like shit too. And i have all day, why? i cannot tell you for i do not know. just that my mind is so full of this and that and everything the it feels like it could explode at anytime and my heart is like being ripped apart but its not. all at the same time. was told that my eyes look cloudy. that they are dull, null and void.
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*sigh*

1 min read
what ugh.... how do i.... ugh.... hey all sorry its been so long since my last journal. I just i dont know what to do this feels so real but looks like such a lie. everyone tells me im a foo, that im being used. But idk what to do.... just this girl....shes totally swept me off my feet i think i might be falling for her... i just hope she feels the same :( because i dont want to feel like an idoit and have all my friends be right again. i just dont want to be hurt :(
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Gone

2 min read
So as it turns out I did lose my best friend. Not because of my brother, But because of me. Well something I did, Something I got help for. Last Friday night she came over, there was alot of drinks. At the end of the night I gave her a choice. She could have my room and I would sleep on the couch, or she could have the couch. She said that she would take my room but i didn't have to sleep on the couch. I knew nothing was going to happen between us, or so i thought. I let her get changed in private and then she said i could come back in. As i took off my shirt she saw the scars on my wrist.

She asked, "What the fuck are those?" Then we had a talk. It was something she never knew about me. As we were finishing the little talk she said to me, " Kyle I am really disappointed in you and would now prefer you to sleep on the couch, I have to think about somethings so please leave the room."

In the morning she didn't speak to me. It was really awkward, When her dad came to pick her up. Right before she left she said, "Thank you." As she gave me a hug. That was it, The last time I talked to her. It is now Sunday and she wont talk to me. *sigh* lost a friend again just because of some damn scars *cries*
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MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL WHO CELEBRATE IT

AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO THOSE WHO DONT
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bad week by suicidalhate, journal

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